it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
