I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
