I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize