I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
