Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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