Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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