I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Yo dont text me then not text me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
