i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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