Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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