Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You made out with two different species that night
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
