my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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