handjob tips. give me some.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
