did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
