just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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