The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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