U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
