Soap is not a condiment
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just pee around me
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Randomize
