I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize