so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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