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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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