put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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