I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
