The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I need a beard to bite.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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