I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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