Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
