there's paper in my vomit.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
