There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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