I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
