Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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