and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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