I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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