Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize