I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
