While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
