got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
