im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
