I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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