She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
