When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
