4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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