last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
