Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
