oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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