Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
