I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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