Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
