the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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