she looked like the before picture.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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