Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
