? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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