and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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