if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
