They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
