Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
