I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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