We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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