Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
