Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He shit in the fireplace
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
