It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
