Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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