Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
