Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards

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(619): View more from California

Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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(734): View more from Michigan

How was the bike ride?

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it

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(515): View more from Iowa

Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.

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(954): View more from Florida

I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Never underestimate the power of titties

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