I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
