Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Threesome in a minivan. New low
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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