I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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