Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize