Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Of course I have a pirate flag
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
