She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
