I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
